Some of us attract trouble. We do not have to do anything to attracted it, our presence is often enough. It is like some of us are a large rock dropped into a pond of people and the ripples are often pure chaos.
We trigger emotion or issues in people mostly without conscious knowledge or understanding of what we are doing. Those triggers often take the form of drama and conflict, real or imagined, it starts as a small gush and very soon it is splattered all over the walls.
Labels I have tried to find for this quality are psychic vampire, witch, shit stirrer, Luciferian, Satanist, trouble maker, troll, I am sure you know a few more.
I have looked and found lots of reasons that have been offered for this trait. The best is in astrology, now I am not an astrologist I just know the basics here.
As far as I can understand it, we have various planets on the ascendant that trigger other peoples ‘stuff’ when they are around us. I have Pluto on the ascendant which means that if you have any power issues, or issues with your own power, you will have a problem around me. It also covers sex, religion and politics power issues.
Some people have Neptune on the ascendant and they trigger emotional issues in those around them…which might be better..or worse, depending on your point of view.
Human Design describes it as filling empty spaces in each other… two people meet and a third is created, or with the meeting both people are altered into something else. Both influenced by the energy/field/mindset of the other. The third person I create in some another is often highly strung and dramatic. The effects are varied but are often loud and irrational. The traditional idea of PMT in a wave form.
I like these theories but they only explain the cause not the effect.
I stir chaos in situations and people. I do not mean to…not often anyway. My presence alone will stir situations and emotions into drama and conflict, my words might also have something to do with it…but the combination means I have had to learn to hang back in groups of people out of necessity. Both on and off line. If I am tired or feeling low it gets much worse. With a word I have started fires and wars…. and it is not nice. I am not having fun here.
People that have no issues with their own power, I can somehow work well and bond with, but even then it is tough. Strong grounded people who are not afraid of their own power are some of my best friends. We are not in competition and there is just a gentle ebb and flow, these are my stars in my life for they are rare and beautiful beings. I honour them for being above the chaos that I invoke around me.
My study of psychic vampires led me to see the energy flow has a strong one-way flow into me. I pull at all the things you have buried in your field, I cannot seem to stop it unless I am grounded, have slept and fed well. For years I have been doing this without noticing, once I started to see it I wanted to go back and apologise.But I am not, not really. Get real with yourself and see what is in front of you.
Everyone always encourages us all to ‘be ourselves’…I always wondered about that phase and is it really meant.
How much of ‘myself’ can people handle?
It can be used for good as well as bad. As a healer I could trigger a healing crisis and a shift out of a rut or a stasis for a client. I can counsel and just hang around people who want to make a change in their lives. Hang around long enough and chaos will make a call, after decades of watching this occur, I can now guarantee it.
I can channel it into creativity and activity. I often need someone to reflect it back to me to kick me out of a rut. I can be triggered very easily in a direction myself and will often take the lead and push creation into being. Coerce the gods to make manifestation happen NOW!
But mostly I just hang around and watch the ripples happen without apology.
I am what I am..no guilt, shame or sympathy needed. My impact on the world is visible and uncomfortable for some but I also know that it will strengthen them and strip away the falsehoods and unreal issues in their lives. It gets to a point where you have to believe you are serving people perfectly. I do not create the chaos, just trigger that which was already inside you.
I have been experimenting online and found that those that I thought had no issues with their own power and safe for me to ‘be myself’, were not as secure as I thought with their own power. It is regretful, I enjoyed the ebb and flow of being around solid people….When you have found your feet again, please look me up, I liked you.
The Winds of Chaos touch most people around me and I am not alone in this. I have watched others do the same….beautiful Chaos Vampires at work.
I am also an excellent mirror. You will see what you are in me..
That drama thing seems to follow me around like my shadow, but as it has always been there and is part of my core being I am not going to start worrying about it now. When I am strong and believe in myself it can be used to focus and direct action and there is pure manifestation going on.
This is a ‘real’ world, OU thing. It has tangible impact in the material world and like everything can go very wrong very fast. In this I am a force of nature, like my 13 year old daughter…sigh…
So, is this a ‘psychic vampire’ thing, searching for energy when low to feed off and causing or triggering chaos to get it?
I believe so. Denying, I don’t feed off it if it is there would be a lie. I can get high off it… and that is my truth. Do I like the fact my friends are going through personal power issues and drama overload because of me…no, of course not. But it is in my nature…
Chaos is part of the illusion of duality, which means it has at its heart order… after a storm you find the greatest peace. Once I have nothing to trigger in you …you are strong and empowered and able to find true inner peace…I have seen that happen too. There is a pattern here if you know what to look for.
I think everyone can do it but it seems to be a constant thing in some of us that cannot switch it off. It does lead us into being very solitary and introverted..not necessarily by choice. Partners have to be hardy and able to weather the storms that blow in, seemingly uncalled for into the relationship. They are there, trust me on that. I think you can even create a strong partner that can with stand the touch of chaos…but it will take some trials and errors.
In groups you will find me erratic, I storm in and through. When I travelled to Bali they had a tradition that they would not come out of their houses unless their energy was positive and loving…I do not have that luxury, but it is a good idea. I have learnt a lot by embracing the psychic vampire trait of monitoring my energy ebb and flow. If there is an ebb, perhaps it is better to just ‘stay home’ and avoid the triggering of the chaos waves in people?